Should You Tip Your Wedding Officiant?
Should You Tip Your Wedding Officiant?
To tip your officiant or not to tip, that is the question! At least, it’s a question I get asked a lot. Here’s my take:
Tipping is never required, but always appreciated. It follows that if you are tipping your other weddings vendors (photographer, videographer, DJ and caterer,) you should tip your officiant, too. Meaning, why would you tip your other wedding vendors but leave out your wedding officiant, especially if they have done a good job?! It would for sure be helpful if wedding planners — who are often the creators of the tip list and the keepers of the tips — listed the officiant as one of the vendors to tip. Like… sometimes this oversight on the part of couples happens because they have put their trust in a planner who doesn’t include officiants on their “tip list.” Not tipping any of your vendors? Then no need to tip your officiant either, unless they went above and beyond for you and you genuinely want to…
When tipping, make sure to hand over any envelopes to your “tip point person” (usually a parent or planner) at the start of the day. Remember that your officiant, makeup artist, florist and several other vendors complete their tasks earlier in the day and leave well before the reception, so you’ll want to make sure to give them an envelope when they arrive onsite, or just after they complete their roles and responsibilities…
Much of the confusion and misinformation about tipping officiants originates from that fact that officiating is a relatively new profession. In the not too distant past it was clergy who performed most wedding ceremonies, and since clergy members are tied to the church, they are unable to accept personal payments, so a small donation was made directly to the church for the ceremony. But that model is quite outdated now as there are many professional officiants who are self employed and run their businesses the same way other entrepreneurial, independent contractor wedding vendors do.
As for the friend officiated and family member led ceremonies, I’m not suggesting that you tip your friend or relative with cash, but it takes A LOT of work to create and officiate a ceremony, so I would suggest buying them a really nice gift and/or paying for the travel to/from your wedding, as well as their hotel. It’s just good manners :)
How much should you give?
Well, you can tip a flat rate or a percentage. Again, consider what you are tipping your other wedding vendors. Is everyone getting $50-100? Then tip them the same amount. Are you tipping everyone 10 -20% of their fee? Then you might want to tip them based on the same percentage. Sometimes it’s just an act of radical generosity because they’ve done a great job and you want to show them your appreciation. I’ve received $40 tips and $720 tips. I appreciate all of it. It makes me feel valued when couples acknowledge my hard work and professionalism.
Tipping as tithing.
For the past few years, I’ve been donating 50-100% of my wedding tips to causes that are important to me. In 2019 I donated 100% of my wedding tips to elephant conservation efforts including Sheldrick Wildlife Trust. After coming back from Nepal, where I saw firsthand the abuse of elephants, particularly in the context of “eco-tourism,” I felt a strong call to offer resources and awareness to this cause. In 2021 I donated 50% of my wedding tips to honey bee conservation and indigenous land rematriation and land sovereignty efforts to various organizations, including the Sogorea Te’ Land Trust. I am grateful for the generosity of my couples that I was able to donate several thousand dollars to those two causes that are very close to my heart. In 2022 I donated 50% of my wedding tips to Dig Deep, Housing Matters, and several other charitable causes. And in 2023 I will continue this practice of “tipping as tithing,” making sure the money I am gifted gets gifted onward in a spirit of love and generosity.